Boy, 11, urinates on $36K worth of Apple MacBooks

He had the means and the opportunity, but we may never know the motive of an 11-year-old student who urinated on a couple dozen laptops left unattended at Upper Allen Township Elementary in Pennsylvania.

In a report now bemusing Mac fan forums across the Internet, the Upper Allen Township Police Department states that “the cart and computers were damaged beyond repair, resulting in the loss of over $36,000.”

The cart in question contained approximately 30 school-owned MacBooks, according to a police department spokesperson I spoke to, who couldn’t tell me why the kid did it — let alone how.  Because, c’mon — 30 MacBooks, even stacked, make for a formidable amount of square footage to cover, especially for a kid.

Nevertheless, all MacBooks went down as a total loss, and John Brownlee at Cult of Mac educates us on the likely reason why.

We can all surmise that urinating upon your Mac will not be covered by your AppleCare, but here’s an interesting question: If you stand up right this second, unzip your fly and hose off all over your MacBook, can you even pay Apple to service the machines? The answer is no, because Apple looks at micturated-upon MacBooks as a biohazard.

Sure enough, not even dog urine is acceptable. I know this because the helpful woman who answered the phone at the New York City’s Fifth Avenue Apple Store told me that no, if my dog urinated on my MacBook, no Apple Genius would touch it. What’s more, “biohazard” is the exact word she used, right before she encouraged me to “Google” a repair outfit that would deign to do such dirty work.

Dog urination aside, there are other MacBook pathogens that may surprise you. So if you smoke, heads up. Cigarette smoke-infused Apple products count as biohazards too, as Consumerist reported in 2009.

For the crime of creating $36K in Apple biohazards, the boy in question was charged with institutional vandalism and criminal mischief. While the police spokesperson assures me that, contrary to some reports, the kid was not arrested, his case was forwarded to the Cumberland County Juvenile Probation Department.


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Man Allegedly Impersonated Cop And Urinated In Kid’s Hat

A man pretending to be an undercover police officer harassed a group of teenagers and pulled over women to flirt with them, according to a New Mexico sheriff, according to KRQE.

Joseph Hannah, 32, allegedly had flashing lights on top of his Mustang when he stopped near an Albuquerque front yard where four teenagers played ball last night.

One of the teens said that Hannah yelled that he could shoot them, according to KOB. While brandishing a gun, he demanded a hat belonging to Scot Ingle, 15, and then urinated in it.

“He showed me a badge and a gun so I bought it,” Ingle told KRQE. “He’s got the gun and he tells me to give me your hat, so you know I take it off and give it to him and he just pees on my hat.”

Driving with the white lights flashing on top of his car, Hannah also pulled over a woman. He told her he was an undercover narcotics officer, according to KOB, and said she was good-looking. KRQE said he pulled over a second woman and hit on her too.

Deputies from the Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Office caught Hannah, because his Mustang had the vanity license plate “PUNISHR.”

He was charged with impersonating an officer and false imprisonment. Bond was set at $250,000, according to information on the sheriff’s office website.


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Man Forced To Moonwalk At Gunpoint

SANDPOINT — A 30-year-old Clark Fork man is facing a felony assault charge for allegedly ordering another man to “moonwalk” at gunpoint.

John Ernest Cross is charged with aggravated assault. Judge Barbara Buchanan sustained Cross’ $20,000 bail on Tuesday and ordered a public defender to represent him. Cross was also barred from contacting the alleged victim in the case.

Sheriff’s deputies were summoned to Cross’ home on Mountain View Road on Monday, after receiving a report that he had been using drugs and pointed a rifle at another man while demanding that he execute the dance move.

Late singer Michael Jackson popularized the moonwalk dance move, although a slew of other entertainers — from Cab Calloway and Ronnie Hawkins to David Bowie and Dick Van Dyke — have been credited for using a variation of the move.

A probable cause affidavit describes the weapon Cross allegedly used as appearing to be an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle.

During his initial court appearance on Tuesday, Cross said it was an Airsoft pellet gun.


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Husband accidentally shoots self, wife at Bedford County gun safety course

A firearms safety course went awry in Bedford County on Saturday afternoon when a participant shot himself in the hand with a .45-caliber handgun and the bullet passed through his hand and struck his wife, seated next to him, in the leg.

Shot were Michael L. Deel, 54, and Michelle K. Deel, 49, both of Roanoke. Emergency dispatchers in Bedford County received a call at 12:25 p.m. reporting a shooting on Chapel Woods Drive. The Bedford County Sheriff’s Office said county rescue units and deputies responded.

The Deels were attending a firearms safety class being taught and hosted by Thomas Starke, 57, according to the department.

The sheriff’s office said Starke told deputies that he had left the room, heard a shot and returned to find the Deels had been shot.

The couple was taken by ambulance to Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital with injuries that were not considered life-threatening.

The shooting remains under investigation.

— Duncan Adams


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Helen Keller sunglasses create a stir


Is it a smart thing to try and profit off of someone else’s tragedy?

One company seems to think so.

A Chinese fashion firm, Xiamen Jinzhi, has named a line of its sunglasses Helen Keller.

This is no marketing mistake, or lost in translation. A spokesman for the company, Chen Wenjing, told the Wall Street Journal, they were well aware Keller was blind, but saw merchandising value in her “philanthropist spirit.”

It appears Helen Keller is a famous figure Chinese children learn about in school, according to the article. But maybe the fashion company’s marketing team didn’t pay attention when the course was taught. On the company’s Helen Keller sunglasses website, someone seems to have picked up a reference about Helen Keller from Wikipedia, “Helen Keller: She was the first deaf-blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree.”

The company even produced an ad for the HK glasses, including paparazzi and a model donning the specs. When she puts on the glasses, the paparazzi go wild, and the promo promises: “You see the world, the world sees you.”

Just in case you’re wondering, there is no record of Helen Keller ever having worn sunglasses, said Carl Augusto, president of the American Foundation for the Blind, an 80 year old advocacy group that Keller worked for up until her death in 1968. “There is no evidence she wore sunglasses in our archives of 1,500 photographs and 80,000 documents, not a mention or photo of her wearing sunglasses,” he said.

As for the use of Keller’s name to hawk a product, Augusto said, “we’re never happy unless Helen Keller is portrayed in a way we feel she should be portrayed, as an inspiration and someone who showed the world that people with disabilities are just like everyone else.”

That said, he admitted, Keller had quite a sense of humor and probably would have “laughed hysterically” when she heard about the strange homage to her legacy.

While the name choice may seem odd and distasteful, it has gotten a lot of press attention from around the globe, including this headline from the UK’s Daily Mail: “Cultural Blindspot?”

It’s the type of exposure every company craves, but in the end what does it say about the people behind the name?

Keller may have said it best: “The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision.”


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Teacher fired over porn acting has case for reinstatement

By Stephanie Miranda and Gordon Tokumatsu,

An Oxnard teacher fired for being in a pornographic video before she was hired is fighting back.

Stacie Halas, 32, had taught science at Richard B Haydock Intermediate School since 2009, and prior to her employment she appeared in adult movies.

School board trustees decided on Wednesday to fire Halas. She had been on paid administrative leave since her porn acting surfaced last month. Halas has 30 days to appeal the decision by requesting a hearing with an administrative law judge.

See video, read the original report at

“She does have an argument,” said Royal Oakes, NBC4 legal analyst.

Oakes said Halas’ case is unusual, but her attorney, who did not return calls made by NBC4 news on Monday, may be building the case based on precedence outside the state.

“The idea that the school should be policing your past is something that makes a lot of people uncomfortable,” Oakes said.

Sean Loftis is a substitute teacher in Miami Beach who starred in gay porn and, like Halas, he was fired based on the school’s code of ethics. After months of public discussion, the school board has cleared him to pursue his teaching certificate again.

Oaks said Loftis’ case will likely be cited as Halas works to defend her name and teaching record in Oxnard.

“It can have a lot of heft if you have a very similar case in Florida where a teacher won and here there’s no real California law on the issue,” Oaks said.


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Teacher Charged With Firing Blanks Pistol at Students

A teacher at a Virginia vocational school has been charged with terrifying a dozen students by lining them up against a classroom wall and firing a starter pistol at them execution-style.

Manuael Earnest Dillow, 60, was charged last week with 12 felony counts of brandishing a firearm on school property following the April 4 incident at the William H. Neff Center, a career and technical school, in Abingdon, Va.

Dillow allegedly lined up the students near a garage door of the school’s welding shop and pulled from the waistband of his pants a black “blank-firing handgun,” that according to police looked like a real gun.

He then shot the gun between four and ten times in the direction of the students. The sound of the gunshots were “similar to that of a firearm that fires a projectile, thus placing the students in fear,” Washington County, Va., Sheriff Fred Newman said in a statement.

Newman told ABC News that Dillow was charged with one felony count for each student.

Newman said the students reported being frightened and that under “Virginia code, the brandishing charges include inducing fear to the persons involved.”

Each charge carries a maximum prison sentence of five years or a $2,500 fine or both.

ABC News was unable to reach Dillow at his Kingsport, Tenn., home. He was suspended without pay from his job with the school system.


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